New Evidence of Effective Means to Control Time!

Using new ultra-precise clocks that are capable of measuring a very tiny fraction (one-million-billionth of a second),* researchers have confirmed one of the implications of Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity — namely that time is slowed down by travel and speeded up by altitude.

Thus if you move around, your experience of time will be slowed ever so slightly and you’ll live longer than someone who does not move. Any movement through space is effective, though of course the faster you move the more time slows down. Travel agents take note!

And if you get yourself even a little bit further from the center of the earth, time will go by faster. So head up the nearest hillside if you are impatient for something to take place and it will arrive a bit sooner. Or head for lowlands and live longer. Just watch out for the sea level rise.

Yep, the difference is small. Very small. You’ll lose three seconds in a million years if you go up 3500 feet or so. But these new clocks are capable of detecting the difference attributed to moving just one foot higher or lower. You’re not likely to increase your lifespan by even a heartbeat by traveling or ducking down, and of course you’ll expose yourself to the added risks associated with movement.

But this suggests that if you want to live long, you should start running in circles in your basement. Or move closer to sea level and take lots of fast trips (by hydrofoil?) at low elevations. But you would still be wise to avoid basements where your exposure to radon gas may be increased, depending on where you live and efforts to abate radon accumulation. Unless a tornado is coming.

Personally, I think it’s a pretty decent excuse not to clean up the attic.

Actually the big news here is the capability to measure such tiny fractions of a nanosecond, which will surely have unexpected applications. Like timing a swim meet or horse race?

*I think that’s 1 part in 10 to the 15th power, i.e, not very much.

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